Have you ever seen (or maybe even written) things like: ‘I’m looking for Mr Right, My Prince Charming or My Soul Mate’ in a profile? Make no mistake, these phrases are a huge turn off for a man because they set the bar so high and far into the future that he’s not ready to imagine himself there just yet.

It’s natural as women to want to know early on (if not straight away) that the guy you might meet is looking for a serious relationship and more than just something casual, but remember; men need to take their time to get to know you.

Another consideration is that where women write about finding their soul mate, you may find men write about something sexual. They’re both illustrating the same hopes and desires for a relationship but just with very different language. When a man does this it doesn’t necessarily mean he only wants ‘one thing’ and isn’t looking for a long term relationship, it usually means that he can only think about a future with someone he’s physically attracted to.

One of the best ways you can increase your chances with any man you meet is by taking the time to understand how they think and what works for them. Remember, when you’re writing your profile, put yourself in his shoes and use language that works for him.

If you want help writing your profile, do get in touch as I offer a great 3 week package designed to give you all the tools to date online successfully. For more info click here

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In part two, I’m going to talk about the importance of dating online with the right mindset and how any negative beliefs you have about the opposite sex can ruin your chances when dating online.

So let me start by asking you:

-          Have you ever been on a first date which you thought went really well but then they didn’t call back?

-          Have you ever dated someone you thought loved you but then they didn’t want to commit?

-          Have you ever been cheated on by someone you trusted and you don’t know how to start over and trust a partner again?

If any of these are true for you, it just means you’re human!

One of the most important (and often overlooked) factors to successful online dating is to let go of any negative or limiting beliefs you have about yourself or the opposite sex and start with a fresh, positive mindset.

Start by learning to recognise how your past experiences are affecting your view of yourself, the opposite sex and dating. For example, if your partner cheated on you in a past relationship, you may be saying ‘men/women are such liars and cheats’ rather than ‘my boyfriend/girlfriend was a liar and a cheat.’

Don’t make false assumptions and tar everyone with the same brush – your negativity will show.

If you genuinely believe that dating is hard work or that women are liars or men just want casual sex, then all your new relationships will fail as you’ll be looking for evidence in everyone you meet. It will be leaking out from you, even if you’re completely unaware of it yourself.

Negativity in any form is unattractive, so take a look at what beliefs you hold and how they may be coming out in what you say and do when you’re dating online.

Thanks for tuning in to part 2, I hope you’ve found this online dating advice useful. If you’d like to work with me personally, click here for more info:

http://www.havefunfindingtheone.co.uk/lookingforlove.php

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In this weeks post I’m going to cut straight to the chase with the No.1 online dating mistake I believe people make when they start dating online an that’s:

Not making this a priority in your life

If we’re looking for a new job we think nothing of spending hours writing up our CV, searching through job websites and applying for positions, but when it comes to finding love, our one true source of happiness, we make the mistake of thinking that this amazing man will come into our lives without the need to put in the time or effort it will take to find him.

You may spend at least 35 hours a week working, a few hours watching TV, going to the gym, reading or surfing the internet, but how much time do you actually spend on creating the right opportunities to find love? If you’re not meeting new single people often enough then the likelihood of you finding a partner is slim.

So, how much is finding this man really worth to you?

How much time, effort and money are you prepared to invest each week to get what you want?

Everything in life worth having requires an investment, and your love life is no different so I’d encourage you to be proactive. Start contacting the men you’re interested in online and don’t sit back and wait for them to find you!

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Are you wondering if you should wink, add him to your ‘favourites’ or whether to send him an email?

Well, here are a few of my top tips on how to make online dating work for you:

1. The first and most important rule to emailing online is to be proactive. Once you’ve written a great profile (I can help with that by the way) and uploaded a selection of your best photos, are you then going to sit back and wait for the men to contact you? No, absolutely not. This will only leave you feeling frustrated and disappointed and your love life is too important to leave to chance. There’s no rule that says the man should be the one to contact you first, so go ahead and actively search out the men you like the look of and send them an email… after all what have you got to lose?
2. Use your subscription like a gym membership – If you want to lose weight or tone up, you know you need to go to the gym regularly and workout for 3 days a week for at least 3 – 6 months. The same is true with online dating. You’re going to need to log in at least 4 times a week and search and email members for at least an hour every time. Don’t fall into the trap of paying your subscription and then not using it and expecting things to change. Aim to send a personal email (not a wink or anything that’s cut and pasted) to around 5 people each week and meet at least 1 person every week until you find someone you’d like to date… and who’d like to date you.
3. Find something that’s unique to him in his profile and write to him about it, always adding a question at the end. This will let him know you’ve read his profile and by asking a question at the end you make it easy for him to respond to you. Something simple like this is fine:

‘Wow, I see you’ve spent 5 years in Italy… it’s such a beautiful country and I’ve had some great holidays there.

If you could choose the one thing you          love most about it, what would it be?

4.    Keep your first few emails short, one or two paragraphs is plenty. Avoid repeating any information that he’d be able to find in your profile. The first       email is just about opening the doors of communication between you, so keep it light and fun.

5.    Finally, if he doesn’t write back, don’t take it personally. The only way to avoid rejection online is to not sign up in the first place. Its part of the process, it will happen and it’s never personal.

Your first email is your chance to make a big impression. Don’t be shy, go ahead and knock him dead!

For information on how Sharon can help you find love online click here:

http://www.havefunfindingtheone.co.uk/lookingforlove.php

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Maybe you’re fed up with dating men that cheat or men that are ‘just not ready for anything serious!’

If this is happening for you then it’s time to figure out what you may be doing to attract the wrong kind of men and… how to change so that you get the right man for you.

So let’s start by looking at what the “wrong type” can mean.

• He may already have a girlfriend or wife.
• He’s recently split up from a long term relationship.
• He’s cheated on partners in the past or has a bad dating history.
• He’s immature and unable to express his emotions and needs well.
• He’s unsure of what he wants out of life or a relationship.
• He’s unhappy with his life in general and doesn’t take responsibility for himself.

These are just a few of the ‘tell tale’ signs that a man is not ready for a relationship and will be the wrong match for you.

It may be that you’re attracting the wrong kind of man over and over again because you don’t know what to look for so you keep sticking with what you know and wind up repeating the same patterns of dating over and over again.

Unfortunately there are no classes in school that teach us what to look for in a relationship so all we have to draw on our experiences from our parents, siblings and past boyfriends and herein may be where a big part of the problem lies.

So the first thing you need to do to stop attracting the wrong kind of men is to know exactly what kind of man you really are looking for.

Imagine you’re with your ideal man. Close your eyes and think of all the things he’s doing that make you feel special.

Make a list of all the qualities you love about this guy. What are the qualities you need to be at your best? What qualities are non-negotiable for you?

Come up with 5 clear qualities that the next man you date must have. By this I don’t mean he must be 6ft tall, have dark hair and earn over £50K. The qualities you want to get clear on are the ones that bring out the best in you, the ones that make you shine and show you he’s a great match.

It’s vital that you attract a partner that equally matches you, someone that you’re proud to be with and have mutual respect for as these form the foundations of a healthy long term relationship.

Once you have your values and standards clear in your head you’ll be less likely to experience another failed relationship and the heartache that goes with it.

Bonus tip: Use these qualities in your online profile to describe the man you’re looking for in a way that will inspire him. For me info on how to write a great profile click here:

http://www.havefunfindingtheone.co.uk/lookingforlove.php

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Want to know where to find someone special to share your life with?

well you’re not alone, but if you’re not dating online you’re missing out on meeting other great, like minded singles looking for love just like you.

So, don’t waste another day  and have them pass you by. Online dating works for thousands of people every days, but it’s a skill. Work with me and I’ll show you  step by step, how to avoid the 7 biggest mistakes people make online so you can go from single to happily dating and sharing your life with someone special in no time at all

Get the insider tips and secrets you need in this 3 week program and discover how to…

• Create a profile that will get you noticed
• Know what qualities really are important in your ideal partner
• Save time and money by knowing which website(s) to choose
• Avoid the 7 biggest mistakes people make with online dating
• Spot your ideal partner in a sea of profiles
• Write emails that get a response
• Go from email to a first date  plus…

much, much, much more!

http://www.havefunfindingtheone.co.uk/lookingforlove.php

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Maybe you’re fed up with dating men that cheat or that are ‘just not ready for anything serious!’

If this is happening for you then it’s time to figure out what you may be doing to attract the wrong kind of men and how to change so you get the right man for you.

So what does the “wrong type” actually mean?

Take a look at the list below and ask yourself if any of these could be true for the man you’re dating or the men you’ve dated in the past:

• He already has a girlfriend or wife.
• He’s recently split up from a long term relationship.
• He’s cheated on partners in the past or has a bad dating history.
• He’s unable to express his emotions and needs well.
• He’s unsure of what he wants out of life or a relationship.
• He’s unhappy with his life in general and doesn’t take responsibility for himself.

These are just a few of the ‘tell tale’ signs that a man may not be ready for a relationship and ultimately may be the wrong match for you.

Sometimes I refer to dating the wrong men as choosing the ‘junk food’ option. So when you skip lunch, by late afternoon you’re really hungry and there’s nowhere to get a proper lunch but there is a cake shop… so you stop by and eat a doughnut even though you know it’s not good for you or the right option!

Dating is very similar. The less hungry you are for love, the more you’re likely to make the right choices and not settle for whatever is on offer. So commit to taking the time to get clear in your mind what kind of ‘lunch’ you really want.

You’re not alone and unfortunately there are no classes in school that teach us what to look for in a relationship so all we have to draw on our experiences from our parents, siblings and past boyfriends and herein may be where a big part of the problem lies.

So like I say, the first thing you need to do to stop attracting the wrong kind of men is to know exactly what type of man it is that you want to attract.

Imagine you’re with your ideal man. Close your eyes and think of all the things he’s doing that make you feel special. Where has he taken you? What has he said?

Make a list of all the qualities you love about this guy. What are the qualities you need to be at your best? What qualities do you feel are really non-negotiable for you in a partner to be at your best?

Come up with 5 clear qualities that the next man you date must have. By this I don’t mean he must be 6ft tall, have dark hair and earn over £50K. The qualities you want to get clear on are the ones that make you shine and show you he’s a great match for you.

It’s vital that you attract a partner that equally matches you, someone that you’re proud to be with and have mutual respect for as these form the foundations of a healthy long term relationship.

Once you have your values and standards clear in your head you’ll be less likely to experience another failed relationship and the heartache that goes alongside.

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It’s usually those first 6 months when you’re probably not exactly sure what’s going on in his head.

You may find one minute you’re so excited and optimistic that this guy could be the one for you, then the next minute you’re

worrying about whether this guy will break your heart and you’re just not sure you can go through that pain again.

These first few months are both exciting and terrifying at the same time.

So to get through this tricky time when even the smallest remark could send him running for the hills I’ve outlined my top 3 things women do that turn a man off.

So if you’re ready to delve into the dating pumpkin today lets get started…

THE TOP 3 THINGS WOMEN DO TO “TURN A MAN OFF” … and how to avoid them!

1. INSECURITY

Or as a guy would put it… ‘acting needy.’

This is the No.1 killer of relationships in the early stages so lets get to the bottom of it once and for all.

You must become aware of where and when you’re seeking out:

• To know what he’s thinking or feeling about you

• His approval for how you look, feel or behave

• His affection

• Having him ‘fix’ your life

Of course we all have times in our life when we feel lonely and we all at our core want to feel loved and secure…

BUT…

You need to become aware of your own emotions and how they may be coming out in the things you say and do with a guy.

For example:

If you’re texting him too often seeking to know if he’s stil interested in you.

If you’ve not got much going on in your life outside of him he can feel as if you’re too reliant on him for your happiness.

If you’re keen to spend a lot of time together, he’s likely to feel pressured and may fear losing his freedom.

Now don’t misunderstand me here: Being able to rely on someone when you’ve had a tough day is totally acceptable and is all part of a healthy relationship…

Putting too much importance on how this man will change your life will only lead to disaster and have him pulling away.

He’ll start to feel pressured and….

That sense of certainty and security you’re so longing to have in a relationship will never materialise.

2. GETTING TOO “COMFORTABLE” TOO QUICKLY

Yep, we all know being single can feel pretty crap at times.

Why can’t we just meet a guy, fall in love and be in a great relationship?

As women, we often want to skip past the initial dating phase.

We want to cut to the chase and know if he is ‘the one.’

After all, we don’t want to waste our time if he’s not right… right?

But by doing this we push a guy too quickly. Men often take a lot longer than women to know if a relationship is right for them and in our need for security and to be loved we actually push him away and acjieve the exact opposite to what we really want – crazy but true!

So don’t skip this phase, just relax and enjoy it… after all you’ll never get those great early days again!

3. TRYING TO CHANGE HIM

OK, so you’ve met this guy but then you find out that there are just some things you’d really rather were different about him.

Perhaps you’d rather he didn’t watch or play quite as much football?

Maybe he’s got a bad wardrobe?

Or maybe you wished he didn’t have an ex wife and kids?

Well one thing is for sure here, if you start any relationship off wanting him to be different then it’s just not going to work.

You’ll end up frustrated and nagging him to change…

Or worse still TELLING HIM what he should do!

It’s up to him to choose to change if he wants to and for you to accept him as he is or decide whether he really is the right man for you and if you should continue the relationship with him.
Final Thoughts…

Like I say, those first few months of a relationship can be tough. Try and get to know each other as best you can, but don’t rush things and spell out all of your future plans to him expecting him to be the one in them. Go for your plans and the future you want yourself and if this guy is smart, he’ll realize that you’re one worth keeping hold of!

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But, don’t worry…

You can make a change and find love, far sooner than you think and I’m here to show you how, so stick with me and read on:

No. 1    Start dating online

I’m going to cut straight to the chase here, if you’re not doing what the other 5+ Million people in the UK are doing every month (dating online), then the chances of you finding your ideal partner is pretty slim.

Yes, online dating it has its flaws, but it works for thousands of people every month. The key is to get the skills to make it work for you. So, if you’ve tried it before and it just hasn’t worked, or if you’ve been nervous to dip your toe in the water for the first time, here are some tips that will show you how finding the right partner online can be fun and far easier than you ever imagined.. and look out for the special offer at the end!

1. Don’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd. Learn how to express who you are in your profile with stories that will inspire the RIGHT person to contact you. Remember, you’re not looking for just anyone so your profile should be ‘talking’ directly to your ideal partner and getting you noticed for all the right reasons.

1. Be confident about how great you are. Know what qualities you’ll be bringing to a new partner and what past partners have loved about you.

1. Discover what the real qualities and values you need in a partner are. These are the 5 non-negotiable qualities which will help you avoid dating the wrong people and ensure you know how to spot and date the right one.

1. Post great, natural looking photos that show you in different everyday situations. Make them ALL within the last year (even if you love the one of you taken at New Year 2006).

1. Be patient, positive and persistent. Online dating takes time and commitment. Be sure to set aside enough time each week to make this work for you, after all, having a great love life is your one true source of happiness.

1. Keep things in balance. Remember, online dating is just one way of finding ‘The One’ so continue to go out with friends and enjoy life, after all that’s what will make you attractive to the right person at the end of the day.

Fact: When you date online you have the most potential to find a partner for life.

If you want to learn the insider tips and strategies to really make online dating work for you click here for a very special limited offer: Mastering Online Dating 3 Week Program

It’s open to both men and women and is valid for a limited time only so go ahead and click on the link below for more information:

http://www.havefunfindingtheone.co.uk/lookingforlove.php

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