Over the next few weeks I’ll be giving you the heads up on some of the biggest online dating mistakes many people make so you can avoid falling into the same online dating potholes and make this way of finding a partner work for you!
In part two, I’m going to talk about the importance of dating online with the right mindset and how any negative beliefs you have about the opposite sex can ruin your chances when dating online.
So let me start by asking you:
- Have you ever been on a first date which you thought went really well but then they didn’t call back?
- Have you ever dated someone you thought loved you but then they didn’t want to commit?
- Have you ever been cheated on by someone you trusted and you don’t know how to start over and trust a partner again?
If any of these are true for you, it just means you’re human!
One of the most important (and often overlooked) factors to successful online dating is to let go of any negative or limiting beliefs you have about yourself or the opposite sex and start with a fresh, positive mindset.
Start by learning to recognise how your past experiences are affecting your view of yourself, the opposite sex and dating. For example, if your partner cheated on you in a past relationship, you may be saying ‘men/women are such liars and cheats’ rather than ‘my boyfriend/girlfriend was a liar and a cheat.’
Don’t make false assumptions and tar everyone with the same brush – your negativity will show.
If you genuinely believe that dating is hard work or that women are liars or men just want casual sex, then all your new relationships will fail as you’ll be looking for evidence in everyone you meet. It will be leaking out from you, even if you’re completely unaware of it yourself.
Negativity in any form is unattractive, so take a look at what beliefs you hold and how they may be coming out in what you say and do when you’re dating online.
Thanks for tuning in to part 2, I hope you’ve found this online dating advice useful. If you’d like to work with me personally, click here for more info:
Go ahead and click on my photo to your right, then simply pop your name and email address in the box and you’ll be sent my FREE e-course straight away so you can get started on creating the love life you want and deserve!
Over the next few weeks I want to give you the heads up on some of the biggest online dating mistakes many people make so you can avoid falling into the same potholes along the path of finding the right partner for you.
In this weeks post I’m going to cut straight to the chase with the No.1 online dating mistake I believe people make when they start dating online an that’s:
Not making this a priority in your life
If we’re looking for a new job we think nothing of spending hours writing up our CV, searching through job websites and applying for positions, but when it comes to finding love, our one true source of happiness, we make the mistake of thinking that this amazing man will come into our lives without the need to put in the time or effort it will take to find him.
You may spend at least 35 hours a week working, a few hours watching TV, going to the gym, reading or surfing the internet, but how much time do you actually spend on creating the right opportunities to find love? If you’re not meeting new single people often enough then the likelihood of you finding a partner is slim.
So, how much is finding this man really worth to you?
How much time, effort and money are you prepared to invest each week to get what you want?
Everything in life worth having requires an investment, and your love life is no different so I’d encourage you to be proactive. Start contacting the men you’re interested in online and don’t sit back and wait for them to find you!
Do you find it hard to know what to write in that first email to someone you like the look of?
Are you wondering if you should wink, add him to your ‘favourites’ or whether to send him an email?
Well, here are a few of my top tips on how to make online dating work for you:
The first and most important rule to emailing online is to be proactive. Once you’ve written a great profile (I can help with that by the way) and uploaded a selection of your best photos, are you then going to sit back and wait for the men to contact you? No, absolutely not. This will only leave you feeling frustrated and disappointed and your love life is too important to leave to chance. There’s no rule that says the man should be the one to contact you first, so go ahead and actively search out the men you like the look of and send them an email… after all what have you got to lose?
Use your subscription like a gym membership – If you want to lose weight or tone up, you know you need to go to the gym regularly and workout for 3 days a week for at least 3 – 6 months. The same is true with online dating. You’re going to need to log in at least 4 times a week and search and email members for at least an hour every time. Don’t fall into the trap of paying your subscription and then not using it and expecting things to change. Aim to send a personal email (not a wink or anything that’s cut and pasted) to around 5 people each week and meet at least 1 person every week until you find someone you’d like to date… and who’d like to date you.
Find something that’s unique to him in his profile and write to him about it, always adding a question at the end. This will let him know you’ve read his profile and by asking a question at the end you make it easy for him to respond to you. Something simple like this is fine:
‘Wow, I see you’ve spent 5 years in Italy… it’s such a beautiful country and I’ve had some great holidays there.
If you could choose the one thing you love most about it, what would it be?
Have you been attracting and dating the wrong kind of men over and over again?
Maybe you’re fed up with dating men that cheat or men that are ‘just not ready for anything serious!’
If this is happening for you then it’s time to figure out what you may be doing to attract the wrong kind of men and… how to change so that you get the right man for you.
So let’s start by looking at what the “wrong type” can mean.
He may already have a girlfriend or wife.
He’s recently split up from a long term relationship.
He’s cheated on partners in the past or has a bad dating history.
He’s immature and unable to express his emotions and needs well.
He’s unsure of what he wants out of life or a relationship.
He’s unhappy with his life in general and doesn’t take responsibility for himself.
